Love on Expansives: SIEF series vol. 1

Hi, everyone, thanks for tuning in. So today

I'm going to explain a little bit about the SIEF, the Sinha

Intensive-Expensive Framework, which I reference a lot, but

don't talk about a lot here. I'm going to change that. Because I

think it's important to understand the basics in order

to understand some of the underlying principles to what

I'm talking about. So the SIEF is a spectrum description of

people's behavior. It describes levels of intensity, at one end

are the intensives. And at one end, or the expansives. I

invented this framework. I developed it starting in about

"You're not too Much." It's available on Amazon and through

Ingram press. So the question is, what is an intensive?

Intensives are people who are super intense. Go Go Go. Rest

rest rest. Go Go Go. Rest rest rest. Disruptors, creatives,

all tend to be intensives. So if that's you,

I'll talk more about intensives later, but I talk about

intensives a lot. And what I want to really focus on today,

I'm trying to keep myself down under 10 minutes, is expansives.

expansives are the other end of the spectrum. And expansives are

the ones who are calm, collected, steady. They're the

ones who are reliable, who have a tendency to do the same things

and to prefer to do the same things over and over again.

Expansives do not need novelty. Expansives do not need

revolution. Expansives do not necessarily want novelty or

revolution. Samwise Gamgee is an expansive. He spends the entire

trip driven by duty, which is very expansive. Traveling with

an intensive, Frodo is definitely an intensive. But he

keeps saying "I don't think this is a good idea Mr. Frodo."

Expansives like to see data. Expansives like logic to explain

why they're doing what they're doing. But if you give them a

system, and you say this is your job, please do it. Here are the

steps, they will just sit there and do all the steps, in order,

fairly happily, unless it's actually making them miserable.

But just having to do the same thing over and over again,

doesn't usually make them miserable. Yes, they can be

creatives is one of my favorite painters is an expansive. But

they don't need this like driving knife edge of novelty

that so many intensives do. And they don't seek it out. They're

not as attached to adrenaline. They're not as attached to

opening up vistas and discovering things that nobody

else has discovered before. They're happy to be like

somebody else did that work. We all know what's happening. Now I

know what's happening, that's great. And just work with that.

They're not, they're not always questioning, they're not always

disrupting, that's not what expansives do. Expansives are

happy to just dig into what's there. Expansives do not

necessarily have a life passion. Expansives like comfort and

satisfaction. And routine. An expansive's life dream might

literally be to have a fence around the yard, to own a house,

to mow a lawn, to take the kids to whatever soccer or ballet or

whatever. And then to stay home and watch TV. Like that could be

an expansive's dream. And that's the whole dream. There's- it's

not like there's more. And there doesn't have to be more, right?

For intensives it's hard for us to conceive of a life that

doesn't drive towards some kind of giant vision or big

transformation. But for expansives really that

satisfaction, that comfort, that routine, that predictability,

that safety is what they crave. And because of that intensives

and expansives work really well together. Because intensives are

often driven by all that novelty and all that revolution and all

that transformation and expansives are like, you know, I

don't need to transform I could just keep- keep, this is fine.

Like there's no real reason for me to change. Expansives are the

ones who just, you know, buy the next computer when the old one

wears out. And that's it. They're not interested in the

shiny new toys. They don't care about the new technology. They

just want a computer that works. They will never stand in line

around the block waiting for a midnight release of anything.

Unless it's really important to someone else in their life like

their kid or their spouse, and they're trying to be supportive

of their kid or their spouse. That's that duty drive.

They're driven by duty not by novelty, not by revolution. Not

by discovery. And because they're driven by duty, it's

really easy for us to have some challenges with them. But that's

because when you're driven by, by passion and inspiration, it's

hard to imagine anything else. And for them, they're like, I

don't understand why you can't just settle down and be

satisfied with what you've got. We see this in, in Hamilton, the

conflict between Alexander Hamilton and Eliza, his wife,

where Hamilton is like, "I gotta go, I gotta do things I'm

writing all the time." And she's like, "why do you write like

you're running out of time? Why can't you just be here and be

happy to be alive and be with me and have kids and like, just be

satisfied." But, you know, his inability to do that, is

foreshadowed at the beginning, when he tells Angelica, that she

will never be satisfied, he's never satisfied. And that

tension is set up not just between him and Angelica, but

also between him and his life. And between him and his wife.

Because his wife has a very different experience of life,

she just wants some peace. She just wants some stability, she

just wants happiness. And he wants everything. So if you have

someone in your life, who is expansive, if you're a business

owner, and you need to hire an expansive we- we often find that

we need expansives on our teams. Expansives to help us stay

grounded. Expansives to help remind us that we have to finish

the task that we started. Expansives to help us think

through the full ramifications of what we're about to do.

Expansives to give us some balance, to give us some

steadiness, some stability, some ballast in this ship that we're

driving into high winds. It's really easy for us to get

impatient, but instead we can stop and really appreciate what

they have to offer us. Whether they're our business partner, or

a life partner, or a kid, like somebody who's like, you know

what, this, this could be sufficient. We don't necessarily

want that in our business, we're not ready to settle, it's

generally not a good idea to settle, especially in the early

stages. But this could be sufficient. This could be

sufficient. It's a good thing to keep close in your heart and to

keep close in business as we're working in business. And to

really appreciate rather than becoming impatient and

frustrated with somebody who wants to see the data, who wants

everything lined up, who doesn't want to start before everything

is prepped and ready to go. These are the people who in a

commercial kitchen will put the entire mise en place in place

before they start cooking as opposed to those of us who like

start throwing stuff on the stove and turn on the gas and

then oh yeah, I should probably grab some of that stuff and like

prep it and chop it. I actually think that's why sous chefs are

so important because sous chefs and prep chefs and like the

other kitchen staff are so much better at making sure that

everything is ready so that when the chef turns around and needs

to grab that thing that thing is right there. It's been put in

place. So so if you are an expansive with intensives, know

that we appreciate you. And if you're an intensive with

expansives, take the time to really appreciate who they are

and how they change your life. So if if you know an expansive,

tell them thank