this is your reminder

Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in.

This is your reminder to eat something, drink something, get your tea. Take off your shirt, put on your shirt. Make yourself comfortable again.

I think one of the reasons that I became so focused on pleasure is because I was so in the habit of ignoring what I needed. Not just for pleasure, but for comfortable existence. And this is partly growing up in New England. And this is partly growing up the child of an immigrant. And this is partly all kinds of things. Some gender stuff in there, too, I'm sure.

But mostly it's hyperfocus. Honestly. It's that thing where I just dive so deeply, so intensively, into something that I keep brushing off the fact that my mouth is dry.

I'm doing it right now. My office is too warm, because it has the best passive solar gain in the house. And I have a door shut because my partner is still sleeping. And I have the heat on because we had it turned down overnight, and I wanted it to get warmer. But that heat is all getting trapped in this, the smallest room in the house, with the bright sunshine coming in the windows. And there are like three ways that I'm uncomfortable.

But I'm so into this podcast thing after such a long dry spell that I don't want to stop to go get water. Or to change my clothes. And so here we sit. And it's very meta. And I don't mean the company. I mean, it's very overview, balcony view. It's very second tier out. It's very, I'm doing the thing that I'm talking about. And mostly, I do actually do what I say to do.

I'm not one of those do as I say not as I do people. Usually. But right now I am. Right now I am because I'm sitting here talking to you. And it's been so long. And I have missed this and you. The podcast, the microphone. The ability to share a little bit of what I have. But this is your reminder about your cup of tea.

This is your reminder to change your sheets. And if you can't change your sheets, at least change your pillowcases. This is your reminder that if you've been avoiding the shower, it's not as bad as you think it is after it's over. And it would probably make you feel better and a little less itchy. This is your reminder to take a deep breath and open up that one project, that one thing, that one art that you have been putting off a little bit for a long time.

Because always something else is coming up. And you don't quite know how to break that cycle. Here's a hint: just do the first part of it. I've talked here before about how sometimes if I'm having trouble doing a computer task, I will just open the program or the website and leave it open on my computer overnight. And somehow that makes it easier in the morning.

How posting things to the membership gallery for the Intensives Institute is a lot easier when I leave the posting tab open. Leaving it open, leaving doors open. This is part of why I think ADHD folks leave cabinet doors open. Not just because things disappear behind doors. But also because when they leave it open, that's one fewer barrier to doing the thing. I don't have ADHD. But I know a lot of people who do. And I think it makes a difference. Just one tiny barrier removed.

Sometimes it's leaving your running clothes out at night, so that you have them right there in the morning. And they are the easiest clothes to put on. Sometimes it's eating your dinner in three phases, but you leave your plate on the table so that every time you walk by you take a bite, and then you do manage to eat your dinner even though you were full initially after the first half. But you know, you need to eat more food and so you leave it out so you can nibble away at it.

Or sometimes it's the opposite. You know, you'll eat more than you should because it's so tasty, but your stomach will start to hurt. There's no judgement about food except when it's painful to consume. And so in order to keep yourself from eating enough that your stomach hurts, you put it away. You make it harder. You put up a little bit of a barrier.

I know I tend to not eat vegetables lately, which is really weird. I've always loved vegetables, but for some reason I keep skipping them. And so, one night I left out a bag of frozen green beans. Overnight. I forgot. And in the morning I dumped them all into a bowl and I ate them all. About half of the bag was left when I thawed them. And I ate everything that was left. I ate a whole big cereal bowl full of frozen green beans that had been thawed.

And it was a great thing to do. It was good for me. It tasted good, they smelled good even. They felt good in my teeth. Ever since I mostly stopped eating gluten, I have mostly stopped having that kind of chewy experience that I want out of my food.

But thawed green beans, they're chewy in almost the right way. So sometimes an accident like leaving something out becomes a blessing, a joy, an unexpected treat. Look at all these green beans.

This is your reminder to remove one barrier. This is your reminder to find the thing that you already did. This is your reminder to love on yourself in a little tiny ways, the ways that you might for a small child. Make sure you're wearing socks if your feet are getting cold.

Maybe you only have a few shirts left. Maybe this is a good moment to just collect them. You don't even have to put them in the wash. Just put them all in the same place. If you're like me, and you still sweat your colors, maybe this is a good time to sort the darks from the lights.

This is a reminder that you deserve care. This is your reminder that love comes in all different shapes. And sometimes it's a glass of water.

This is your reminder that if you're one of those people like me who needs sun maybe this is a good weekend to shop for a sun lamp. This is your reminder to live into love, even if you can't feel it.

Thanks for tuning in. Talk with you soon.